Pop art by ThinkSoJoE

Today is October 2, 2017, and 30 years ago today, Pittsburgh Penguins star and two time Stanley Cup winner Phil Kessel was born.  Therefore, today I decided to share with my fellow hockey fans some knowledge bestowed upon me by some folks in a chat room during a recent pre-season game between the Penguins and the Buffalo Sabres.  I do have to apologize, however, as I didn’t think to keep the names of the folks who said these things as I was sharing them with my BoredHockeyFan.com co-admin G the other night.

• “Kessel was baptized in hot dog water”
• “When Kessel gets NHL 18 he makes Kessel a little bigger to see if he can eat a few more burgers and still play”
• “Kessel ain’t even fat, he’s jacked.”
• “Kessels not fat, he’s thicc”
• “Kessel won’t go to a team meeting unless they got pigs in a blanket.”
• “Kessel stays in (Pittsburgh) not because he likes winning, but because they have the highest taco bell/pizza hut combos per capita”
• “When the snapchat filter came out with the dancing hot dog Kessel ate his phone”
• “If Kessel had a time machine, he’d go back to 1943, not to kill hitler but to kill a Dodo bird and try it’s meat.”
• “Never refer to the puck as a biscuit or Phil will eat it”
• “Kessel drank Smart Water for a week and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t better at math.”
• “Kessel spends 14K on Reeses Pieces a month”
• “Kessel met Jesus once but kept hounding him about Fish”
• “Kessel’s salary is measured in quarter pounders”

And there you have it, folks.  Things I learned about birthday boy Phil Kessel from random people in a chat room.  Happy birthday Phil, from all of us at BoredHockeyFan!

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins, for winning the Stanley Cup, for the 2015-16 season. The Penguins defeated the San Jose Sharks in six games, with captain Sidney Crosby, winning his first Conn Smythe Trophy.

Pittsburgh defeated the New York Rangers in the first round of the playoffs, before toppling the President’s Trophy winning Washington Capitals in the semis. The Tampa Bay Lightning, pushed them to seven games, however the Pens won through to win the Prince of Wales trophy as Eastern Conference winners. They then converted that victory, by eliminating the Sharks, to win their fourth Stanley Cup in franchise history.

INS: Daniel Sprong (Pick 46, Charlottetown, QMJHL), Dominik Simon (Pick 137, Plzen, CZREP), Frederik Tiffels (Pick 167, Western Michigan, NCHC), Nikita Pavlychev (Pick 197, Des Moines, USHL)

OUTS: NIL

A nice addition in Sprong and an inquiry to the Leafs about Phil Kessel. Not much else for the Pens this time round.

2015 DRAFT RATING: C+

Being a Penguins fan, their 3-2-1 start this season has been tough, especially the last two losses coming to the hated cross-state rivals the Flyers and losing a 3-1 lead in the 3rd period to Detroit last game. The new system under Mike Johnston and Jim Rutherford is really showing promise, but we need to turn that promise into success. We have the caliber of talent that we should be able to put a good product out there night after night, not saying we should be guaranteed to win night after night, but saying what I am trying to say is that we should be able to go out there night in and night out and play to our strengths, hold our leads, and put our best stuff out there.

But I have to give props to the Penguins for going out and making huge moves in trading Neal/bringing in Hornqvist, and going out and signing Ehrhoff. Also in losing Engelland, Orpik, and Niskanen it will be good for the young guns liks Despres, Harrington, and maybe even Pouliot to get their crack at the Pens roster. This is a promising year for the Penguins, just have see where we end up. #LetsGoPens

These are the players drafted by the Pittsburgh Penguins in the 2014 NHL Entry Draft

Round – Pick – Player Chosen – Junior/Club/College Team

ROUND 1 – PICK 22 – Kasperi Kapanen – Kalpa (FIN)
ROUND 4 – PICK 113 – Sam Lafferty – Deerfield Academy (HIGH-MA)
ROUND 5 – PICK 145 – Anthony Angello – Omaha (USHL)
ROUND 6 – PICK 173 – Jaden Lindo – Owen Sound (OHL)
ROUND 7 – PICK 203 – Jeff Taylor – Union College (ECAC)